I
grew up in an abusive environment. My first memory I have is when I was
about two years old and I was helping my uncle masturbate. One of the
norms in my home was fights between my older brother and my dad where there
would be some sort of damage to a wall, door or furniture. When my dad was
not yelling at my brother, he would go after my mom, my older, sister or I. My
dad and older brother never laid a hand on us (that I know of)
however, my brother decided to molest me one time. Sundays were the worst, I
was woke up at the crack of dawn, where my mother would bathe my sister and I
and put us in dresses with shoulder-pads (it was the 90's) then proceed
to accidentally burn my year trying to curl my bangs (I never sit still).
She would then take my siblings and I to church where I would listen to the
pastor talk in a monotone voice for two hours and sing songs that
sounded like we were attending a funeral. My siblings and I would
always get in trouble because we either did not get along, did not
sit still, or were not appropriate. After church, we would have leftovers and
then serve our punishment for not behaving in church; write
sentences, stand in the corner, sit in a chair for x amount of
time etc.
My
life outside the home was mine to be in control of.
In elementary school I feel into a group of peers where our
favorite thing to do was to smoke cigarettes, set things on fire, or
"jack" things from the 7-11 down the block. My sexual curiosity
started early as well. I have struggled with lust for most of my life. In
middle school, I had a curiosity for religion and at the time, I was
going through conformation at my church while at the same time, wanting to go
to a different church. In high school, I finally had
the opportunity to control the church that I got to go to. I went
there for four years and three weeks before I went to College I accepted Christ
into my heart and was baptized.
While
in college, I faced quite a bit, bullies, substance abuse, and identity issues.
However, God was there the whole time and brought me through everything.
My sophomore year I got involved with Cru, a Christian organization,
and i began to experience friendships like I had
never experienced before. I was afraid to share my story to another
Christian because I was afraid of being judged. Being in Cru, I was accepted
for who I was in Christ, not who I was in the past or what I struggled with.
Through my involvement in Cru and wanting to reach out to others,
I decided to go into missions full time. Now I am in Orlando working
at Cru's headquarters sharing Christ with the world.
